Style: Definition and Sentence Structures

Chapter 15, Questions 1-8

1. a. The focus of the test for Experiment II was tangential to and not a direct approach to leadership. For Experiment II, the test was tangential to leadership.

    b. The major framework of her policy involves presenting a discussion of health care funding. Her policy discusses health care funding.

    c. Some studies have revealed that there has been a small increase in mastitis cases involved with BST-supplemented cows. Studies reveal that mastitis cases have increased slightly in BST-supplemented cows.

    d. The expected results of the use of BST supplements is an increase in the profitability of the dairy producer operations. BST supplements are expected to increase the dairy producer’s profitability.

    e. The reason why video vignettes are less used than lecture in corporate ethics training is because of the higher cost and less available resources. In corporate ethics training, video vignettes are used less than lecture because of higher cost and limited resources.

2. a. The urgent care center offers a variety of services such as physician appointments, mental health, health education programs, and lab and X-ray work. The urgent care center offers a variety of services such as physician appointments, mental health care, health education programs, and lab and X-ray work.

    b. The report considers important factors in choosing a medical facility, ratings of services at the urgent care center, reasons why HMO members do not use the center, and offers suggestions for increase in member usage. The report considers important factors in choosing a medical facility, such as ratings of services at the urgent care center and reasons why HMO members do not use the center, and it offers suggestions for increase in member usage.

    c. To become a mutual fund shareholder, an investor places an order with a local securities dealer or by contacting the fund sales staff directly. To become a mutual fund shareholder, an investor places an order with a local securities dealer or contacts the fund sales staff directly.

    d. When designing a corporate phone answering system, multiple factors must be considered. For example, some people call to report a change of a meeting, to file a complaint, or any other kind of message. Multiple types of messages must be considered in the designing of a corporate phone answering system. For example, some people call to report a meeting change, and others call to file a complaint.

   

3.   The first version suggests that the historical site is part of the region, while the second sentence implies that the two locations are one and the same.

4.   The passage is more suited for a law textbook, because the style removes the speaker, and therefore the reader, from the process. They are objective observers of the entire probation process. To make the style and persona more appropriate for a volunteer manual, it would be helpful to switch to active voice and a second person point of view. Then, the speaker would be a probation officer or a fellow volunteer, a trustworthy teacher.

5.   A person found guilty of a crime can receive probation, a court-ordered sentence in lieu of incarceration. The offender remains in the community, but they are under the supervision of a probation officer for a predetermined period of time. If the offender complies with the terms and conditions of probation, he or she is discharged from the court’s jurisdiction and his or her debt to society is considered paid. If the offender does not comply, the court may impose another method of sentence, including incarceration.

6.   A volunteer would probably find my edits useful. The length decreased and the sentences are more active, which is suited to someone who is reading to learn how to act. A law student, however, would probably rather have the detail and objectivity of the original iteration.

7.   Pick out the human agent first, and add a verb to make it part of the sentence core.

8.   Several economic factors have resulted in increased-calorie diets. First, food is proportionately cheaper than I was a few decades ago, which means that people can now afford more food. People are also eating more high-calorie restaurant meals. Although they are eating more and consuming more calories, people are exercising less and thus using fewer calories. Eating more calories than are exerted through physical activity creates energy imbalance. Over time, this imbalance results in weight gain, or obesity. It is easier to gain weight than to lose it because the body accommodates overeating more readily than it ignores hunger.